Today's post brought to you by the letter E
E is for Erroneous and Everyday
er·ro·ne·ous [uh-roh-nee-uhs, e-roh-]
1. containing error; mistaken; incorrect; wrong: an erroneous answer.
2. straying from what is moral, decent, proper, etc.
I like the way this word rolls off my tongue, and lands with a heavy thud at the feet of my children's father. The one, the only, HeeHaw.
As the wedding creeps closer and closer, my children are becoming more and more vocal about how they are feeling. And you know what is is? Uncertainty, confusion, and a general sense that HeeHaw could care less about how they feel.
So, HeeHaw, come on down. Cause this birdie is for you. You, who are erroneously ignoring your children.
Could somebody please sit these kids down and talk to them about what to expect? In the space of 9 months dad has broken up with a girlfriend (who lived with them) got a new one, is getting married and now they will have a step mom living with them.
Do you think that Doodle and Lil C have questions? You bet. They have no idea what daily life with this new woman will look like. Now, before you get your panties in a bunch I am the first to say that she is a nice, upstanding member of the community. My trouble? She doesn't have kids. Stupid answer right? Well, think about it. These kids are going to have a new set of rules and standards coming from someone who has never had her own.
Some may say that is a mean thing to say, but I encourage you to think about this: When you were younger and babysat someone else's children, you had to make judgement calls and rules while you were in charge yes? But in the end you didn't monitor or take the same care and control as you would had they been your children. You know that your response to the same situation would be different today if you were the parent of those children.
And there en lies my fear. It is going to take LL, aka step mom, a little while to catch up. And in the meantime, she is going to make erroneously huge mistakes. And my children are going to "reap" the benefits of that. Awesome.
My other problem? In a little less than 3 weeks, LL will be living with them EVERYDAY. (Yeah, they are getting married so of course this will happen........) But I ask you, how awkward is that going to be? They are going to go from seeing each other when HeeHaw has the kids to full blown co-habitation.
Now if you throw the religious reasoning for this out the window, everyone is in for an adjustment. I am a complete card carrying member of the school of thought that you should try living together before you tie the knot.
Everyday she will be there. Everyday there will be another woman in front of my children. There to offer advice, a hug, a kind word (hopefully). To make that house (my house) in to a home. Everyday is another chance for her to take my place in the world my children live in. Everyday "mothering" my babies. And HeeHaw will be behind her 100%. He should support a healthy relationship between LL and my chitlins. But you know what he's gonna do? EVERYTHING he can EVERYDAY to phase my job out.
And there is nothing I can do about it. So, Everyday I'm going to grin and bear it. Everyday I'm going to try and be the bigger person. Everyday I am going to take the high road because I know, I would never, EVER, EVER find someone to take the shoes of my children's father. No matter how awful he can be.
I am going to have setbacks, and there will be days I fail miserable. But you know what? The next day I will get up and do it all over again. E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y. For the rest of my life. Yay.