February 28, 2011

Vocabulary

am·biv·a·lence
noun: uncertainty or fluctuation, especially when caused by inability to make a choice or by a simultaneous desire to say or do two opposite or conflicting things.

it's that time again ladies and germs. your vocabulary word for the week.

this word describes me this week. there are several things going on inside me right now, and this word best describes that inner turmoil.
 
is it anything i can't handle? no. does that make it easier? no. and no, i'm not going to tell you. 
 
ever have one of those weeks where you feel like nobody understands you? that maybe you are making this stuff up in your head?
 
ever sit down to a healthy portion of self reflection? yah, that's where i am at this week.
 
maybe it's just pms.


PB Update

So, the results from the biopsy came in. Here we go........

PB has some history with the big C. Yeah.

This stems back almost 7 years. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma.

He has been through radiation and chemotherapy. He has been on an experimental treatment and it has been going well. Until December.

The original reason PB went in for a biopsy was because there was a new spot found by his doctor. A spot that was not there 90 days ago. His doctor wanted to be sure of what it was before they could figure out what to do with it.

Well, the spot is in his left lung. Yep. Now, he has an appointment with the doctor next week to figure out treatment options.

I know that he is very relieved to at least know that this is something that can be dealt with. Also, his doctor sounded extremely optimistic. This is a plus.

Now, until he has all the info in front of him, it feels like a hurry up and wait. Wait to find out what the options are. Wait to find out what the next step is. Hurry up and wait for the next appointment.

I am feeling quite a bit of relief knowing that the doctor is so positive about this. But, at the same time, I am feeling anxious about the next step. And it brings up a LOT of questions for me.
Why do they have to wait so long between appointments?
How come the experimental treatment didn't catch this spot?
How do I support PB through all of this?
How much do I tell my children, my friends, my family?

I know these questions, and I am sure many more, will be answered in due time. The waiting, and the wondering are the hardest part for me. And while I'm VERY anxious, I'm sure it NOTHING in comparison to how PB feels.

Please keep your fingers crossed for a positive/quick/relatively painless process for him. And send all your good ju-ju this way that I support him in the best way possible.

Whew!

That's how I feel after this past weekend. Yup. I need a weekend to recover from my weekend.

Busy? Understatement. Let me run this down for you:

Friday: 3pm: Leave work, grab Doodle, go to CHB's house, grab cookies, money, table and donation box and make our way to Value Village. Doodle had her first cookie site sale of the year. We were there for 2 hours to sell our Girl Scout cookies. I really HATE cookie season. So much standing, schlepping of cookies, all the money handling and the cold weather. Site sale over, head back to CHB's to turn in cookies, money and our table. Get Doodle some dinner, head home to start laundry and some general cleaning.

Saturday 730am: Get up for basketball game. Leave the house at 9:05am, to snow falling AGAIN! We go pick up Lil C, who spent the night at a friends house, get some coffee, pick up PIA and head to the middle school for our game which starts at 10:05am. After a well played game, we lost.

Head home with the chitlins in tow, grab some lunch and get down to the MESS in my living room. Doodle is fighting a cold so she heads for a nap. Lil C and I organize my storage space so we can move all that stuff out of my living room. We get ALL of it in there, except the bed. Still working on that.

3:15pm Doodle and I head out with cookies and money in tow to ANOTHER sale. This time, we are at WalMart. Usually, a great spot for us. This weekend? Not so much. Doodle and I stood there, under our umbrella's, in the freezing cold snow/ice/rain mix that was falling sideways from the sky. Our cookies were covered in the cart with a plastic tablecloth, and we stood there shivering. We made it an hour and 20 minutes before we threw in the towel. It was too friggin cold. Seriously.

I was frozen the rest of the night.......... Doodle went to a sleepover so it was just Lil C and I for the night. Continued with laundry and Moxie came over for some conversation and a glass of vino...... yum.

Sunday: Site sale at the local grocery store. We stood out there in the cold (at least there was no rain or snow) and sold more cookies.

Poor photo quality, taken from my cell but you get the general idea!

After our site sale, we warmed up, changed in to party clothes and headed to a birthday party. Yummy food, great wine and good conversation! PB made his awesome tortellini, I made bruschetta and my chicken dip. Our friends made lasagna, salad and a delicious birthday cake!

Here is what we saw when we pulled up to their house for the birthday party! Love it!

February 24, 2011

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

After ladies night, I had to drive to Ballard, which is about 30 or so miles from my house. Helping out a friend of my mom's who passed away in December. My mom needed me to go collect his stuff and store it for a few weeks until she can make it to me. I had the name and number of the room mate. I called to figure out how many vehicles were needed and how much stuff we were talking about.

I recruit PB, and his utility trailer, his son and 2 of his friends, CHB's hubby and we took off in 2 cars. The sun is shining, there is not a cloud in the sky, and even though I am slightly hungover, see Ladies Night, I am feeling pretty good.

We call this dude on the way down to let him know we are en route. We pull up, and my jaw hits the floor. There is an entire wall of stuff that needs to be hauled out, as well as a full size electric hospital bed. Yowzers. Had there been ONE more item, we would not have been able to take it. We were bursting at the seams as it was.

With the help of the strapping young lads, we get the car, truck and trailer loaded. The boys want to stop at Dick's for a burger and some fries. Greasy food? Absolutely. Best hangover cure yet!

I had a little chuckle to myself.......

We head back to my place, where all of these items are temporarily being stored. Here is what I ended up with.

Sorry for the picture quality. Taken very quickly with my cell phone.

Anyway, I now have these bad boys in my living room until I can get them back out to the storage unit. Yay.

Needless to say, I will not be posting my "de-cluttered" pictures until this mess is out of my house.

The PB update will be coming soon. Promise.

Oh yes it's Ladies Night........

Oh what a night.......

Saturday, I had all the ladies over for some good food, great drinks, and a truck load of laughs!

I spent most of Saturday cleaning, shopping for food, prepping food and making my abode look and smell good. I made Jell-O shots (orange jell-o, Whipped Cream Vodka = Creamsicle shots) and some other yummies too!

The ladies started to arrive: carting in sleeping bags, pillows, libations & spirits, jammies and food. And more food. Oh wait, and a little more food!

Menu:
Chicken Ranch Pizza (Jessica)
Bruschetta and Cajun Crab Dip (me)
Texas Caviar (CHB)
Bar-b-que Meatballs (Moxie)
Bacon Wrapped Peppers with Cream Cheese (Noma)
Nachos (Miss Em)

We ate, and ate, and ate. Oh yeah, and then we ate some more!
Crazy Noma

Jessica
One good shot of me, one good shot of her!

We laughed until we cried, we gossiped and swapped stories, we ate, drank and were merry! After a few spicy beverages, I am no longer able to operate a camera properly. Sorry to CHB, Miss Em and Moxie who are not pictured, but they were there!

We were also missing 2 other ladies, who were out of town at the family cabin.

I had a great time! I loved having all my peeps over at my little place. When I drug myself out of bed the next morning, we had Frost Donuts which Miss Em brought, as well as Costco muffins, a gallon of coffee and some much needed Ibuprofen!

All in all, a successful night!

February 22, 2011

Henry the 8th,/HeeHaw

Today's post is brought to you by:

The letter H, and the number 9

Well folks. Big news around these parts. Henry the 8th/HeeHaw has proposed to LL. This past Saturday, he took her up in a small little plane, and popped the question. Now, before you ask if I am ok with this, the answer is YES. If LL has decided she wants to be stuck with Henry the 8th for the "rest" of her life, so be it. No skin off my nose.

Here is the part that gets me.

HeeHaw met LL at the end of last summer. Henry the 8th fell in love by Halloween and has proposed by February, and plans to tie the note in April. Let's do the math people. That is 9 months from meeting each other that they will be married.

Now, I know there are a lot of people who are able to meet and marry within a shorter amount of time and make it work. But, HeeHaw is NOT most people. Remember I was married to him for 13 years. I should know.

I'm sure most everyone thinks this is just me being the "bitter ex-wife"..... uh no. Henry has carefully crafted this veneer and LL has yet to see him stumble. I think it's SUPER great that Henry has found someone who will marry him, stick by him, and put up with him. I wish them well, I really do.

B-U-T don't expect me to be surprised when the "mighty" tumble. And it will happen. Henry went through many of these "transformations" while we were married. Henry has a very distinct pattern of behavior and he will only be able to hold it together for so long. 

I wish these two the best of luck. They are gonna need it.  

February 18, 2011

Hey, Hey, Hey, what's goin on

I was listening to Four Non Blonde's this morning........

 

Anyway, update for all of the 3 people that read this thing:

PB has doctor's appointment today to find out results of his biopsy. My fingers are crossed. I can not be there with him, and am thankful that his bff (I'm sure he would be horrified for me using this expression :p) can go to the appointment with him. More on that when I know something........ Please, please, please send your best vibes his way.

Tomorrow I will be the owner of this bad boy:
I am SOOOOOOOO excited! I found a screaming deal on it, thank you Craigslist, and will be picking it up tomorrow morning.

Thanks to CHB and her sloooooowwwww computer I was able to file my tax return a few weeks ago and through the wonders of technology, said funds were deposited directly in to my checking account last week!

I have paid my rent forward a few months, paid off some bills, turned cable back on at my pad (much to the delight of the children's) and am in the process of purchasing some things that I want. Not need. Just want!

Since late October, I have been functioning with a camera lens that does not zoom in or out. Somehow, Lil C managed to drop the camera (shocking I know) and it broke something off inside the track of the lens. So, needless to say I have taken very few pictures over the last few months, which is weird for me. See here for details.

Anyway, I am in the process of finding that same lens as well as purchasing the other lens above. I have missed being a shutterbug and am super stoked to get back behind the viewfinder of my camera.

In other news:
I have an external hard drive.
Mine is very similar to this. It holds 500 GB worth of info. That should be plenty right? Yeah....... well, I went to access a file on it yesterday. Plug it in to the computer and guess what? Nothing happened. Great. I have all my digital photos on here since 2001. I have some important documents saved here, like the last 3 years of tax returns, and I have some music as well.

After the day I had yesterday (insert another round of lov-ah-leee-ness with HeeHaw, waking up feeling like a fat cow thanks to the pre-period bloat, and a hellishly busy day at work) now my hard drive doesn't work? You have got to be fucking kidding me.

So, I will be here this weekend.
Praying that the professionals can open and access all my files. If so, I will be backing them up to another newly purchased hard drive. As soon as I find one........ yay.

February 14, 2011

Vocabulary 2011

I have learned a new word and I don't like it. It tastes foul on my tongue and sounds awful to my ears. What is this word you ask? I will tell you.

B-I-O-P-S-Y

bi·op·sy definition

Pronunciation: /ˈbī-ˌäp-sē/
the removal and examination of tissue, cells, or fluids from the living body

Now the procedure in itself is NOT a scary thing. They numb the area they are going to take the sample from and then proceed to gather the samples the lab needs. Once they have said samples, they make sure you are all put back together and send you on your way.

In a few days you will hear from your doctor as to what is up.

The waiting is HELL.

Now before you go getting your knickers in a bunch, this was not for me. I went with PB last Wednesday.

PB got a call from the doctor this morning. They want to see him as soon as possible. Who knows what this means.

I will tell you this. I am a little scared/nervous/anxious to hear what the powers to be have to say. I am sure this is nothing compared to how PB must be feeling.

I am just going to remain positive until I have something to freak about. There is nothing else I can do. Any good thoughts/wishes/vibes you could send his way would be greatly appreciated. Cause really? What is this post about except for selfishly peddling for your good vibrations to be sent to PB&J.

That's all I got for now.

February 7, 2011

Superbowl Sunday

Confession: I am not a huge fan of the Superbowl Sunday party. Yes, I enjoy the commercials, and usually the halftime show. I haven't even watched the Superbowl in 3 years.... that ought to say something!

Anyway, PB wanted to have some people over, so I said why not? Hmmmm. Several trips to the grocery store and many, many pounds of meat later? I remembered why I don't much care for a Superbowl party! My shins, my feet and my back ache. That would be because I think I only managed to sit for about 15 minutes from the time I got up Sunday morning until 7:45pm!

Now, to give PB his due. He was on his feet as much as I was AND he did 80% of the clean-up while I sat on my tooshie with a ginormous glass of wine and watched GLEE. Good times!

Here is the yummy food:

Caramel and Pecan dipped marshmallows

Chocolate dipped marshmallows, or as I liked to refer to them: Chocolate Soldiers! (These went fast!)

PB's terriyaki wings........ YUM. In the background? Large crock pot filled with all the meatballs we made from SCRATCH the night before and rolled by hand. Whew.

Smoked Provolone, Dill infused Havarti, Jarlsberg, Ski Queen Cheese and Smoked Cheddar. God I love cheese.

 Pigs in a blanket, and my bread tower in the background filled with yummy chicken and onion dip.

Not pictured? The amazing smoked flank steak PB cooked. It had marinated ALL night long. It seriously melted on your tongue.

PB and I, although trying to get a picture with him where he was actually paying attention to the camera? Like pulling teeth.


PB, Donnie and Joe. The 3 Moose-keteers. Enough said.

Had a good time! The house was bursting at the seems with people, kids, NOISE, food. But I had a great time!

I thought the half time show was a little off..... not sure if that was the microphones or the B.E.P. Would have liked to see more of Usher, but what can I say? :)

The "before"

I am finally getting around to showing you all the "before" shots of my "intentions" of de-cluttering all the closets. Here we go:


Entry Closet: needs some help. This is where all the coats get stored and the Girl Scout supplies for our weekly meetings.


This is my bedroom closet. It is a walk in, not that you can actually walk in there right now! This becomes the hold all during the holidays and am still currently working on this one.


My "office" area. All the bills and papers get stored here. It is in need of some SERIOUS organization!


The left-over Christmas decorations to put in the storage space, and a table and chair to fix underneath all that crap!


My "current" pile of donations to PIA's garage sale fund, and a mantle in need of some TLC.

Now that you see what I have to work with, I am sure that you can't WAIT to see what I have done with it right? Soon. I promise. Well, I think! 

February 2, 2011

Why I do what I do, or something like that

I started this blog almost 2 years ago. I had been tossing around the idea for a long time, and finally decided to bite the bullet and try it.

My initial feeling was to just get my pictures out there, and to allow some of the family and friends to get updates on what we do.

In the last 2 years, the focus has changed somewhat. As the entire world knows, I went through a divorce. Cue sad music. Or in my case, sounds of applause from the peanut gallery. :)

I am an avid reader of other people's blogs. Some on decorating, some cooking ones, some are just people like me. No special talent in this world, just a willingness to share every day life with whoever chooses to read it.

So you ask yourself, where am I going with this? Ok, I will tell you.

I read a blog yesterday that totally got my panties in a bunch. No names or finger pointing here, but this particular blog I have been following for over a year. I enjoy reading about her life and her decorating tips and ideas. Well, she was "guest posting" on another blog and was sharing info about blogging and how to gain followers, etc.

Something she said though completely set me off:

"And finally, my advice to bloggers... KEEP IT POSITIVE! Sure there are things every now and then that we can rant about on our blogs but really no one wants to read how depressed you are, or how awful your husband is, how bad your finances are, etc. every time they visit your blog. I think you can keep it real without unloading everything on your readers. I think most of us come to blogs to inspire us not depress us!"

Really?

If I was worried about THAT I wouldn't even bother to blog. This here little slice of the Internet I call my own is my ONE place where the LAST thing I have to worry about is what OTHER people think, want to hear, or care about. Now, I don't personally know this blogger, but I felt like I had been sucker punched when I read that.

Want my advice for blogging? This may quite possible be the best you have ever read. Wait for it.......

If you don't like what I have to say, if you don't want to see what I post, or you just plain don't agree with me? DON'T READ IT. It's as simple as that.

I prefer to keep it real. If this is what my life looks like today then guess what? That's what you are going to see. Why should I feel the need to be p.c.? To make you happy? I don't think so. You can go right ahead and keep your positivity, thanks anyway.

Until next time blog world. I will be HERE keeping it real, living in the moment, and saying whatever I damn well please. That's all for now.