October 13, 2015

Don't touch THAT box!

Gawd! It has been a while since we had a chance to chat friends. So pull a chair and a large glass of wine my friends. and I will tell you a story! 

NiceGuy and I were planning on moving in together (big step right?) closer to my January 31st 2016 lease renewal. Well, due to some interesting things happening with the management company at my townhome, that date got moved up. To Labor Day weekend. THIS YEAR

Oh boy. Let the mad rush to start packing and purging commence!  It is amazing to me how much shit (and I do mean shit) that I accumulated in 2 1/2 years. Where did it all come from? 

2 days before the big move, Doodle was helping me pack some stuff and she put this box on her head. And started dancing around. What a goof ball......... I am was doubled over I was laughing so hard! 

I finally get all packed (well mostly anyway) and moving day arrives. This was my last glass of wine on the porch of the townhouse..... 

 Moxie drives me down bright and early Saturday morning to the U-haul rental place.... which turns out to be a taxi company office in a SUPER run down part of town. 2 damn near homeless looking guys are standing by the front door, one with a cell phone attached to his ear and the other? Missing almost all of his front teeth. They usher me in to their "office" which reeks of stale cigarettes and musty furniture and I immediately turn around to make sure Moxie is right behind me. 
We get the truck (after the jackass with the cell phone glued to his ear tries to tell me how to back it up) (insert eye roll) and get back to my house to load it up. 

We manage to get everything in the rental truck (in one load) except the loose stuff that wasnt packed. Lil C and his friend were a great help to NiceGuy, Moxie and I. 

Now, for those of you that have helped me move before, you KNOW I am a nervous wreck. There are certain things I do NOT let ANYONE ELSE BUT ME move. Some of my most prized possessions. And I will yell at you if you touch them. And I will have at least ONE meltdown and I will want to curl up in a ball and cover my ears, rocking from side to side....... Sounds like a good time right? 

I texted this picture to my mom........ captioned "Keeping the important stuff safe". This vase is so cool, and one of the things I have long coveted. It belongs to my grandparents. Everywhere they traveled together, they got a match book/box. man if this vase could talk, I am sure it would have some great stories! 

Here is the WALL/MOUNTAIN of stuff I brought in, and set in the front living room, not to mention the crap that got dumped in the garage. 

This WALL is approximately 5 feet tall (so my height) and as you can see, NiceGuy and I had small rabbit trails to get to the bedroom and kitchen. 

Here it is after 2 weeks.........

3 weeks.......

And last week! 

Doodles room is done, well almost. We just found the comforter and sheets she wanted, so now we can paint her room. We are still on the hunt for  headboard that she likes but her room is fully functional as of now and she is happy to have her own space. 

The garage is 90% done, the kitchen and laundry room are done and the master bedroom is almost done. It has been A LOT of work, and NiceGuy has been SO patient with me. NOTHING is where it used to be in his house, and I am ever so grateful that he rolls with all the changes!

I am SO looking forward to the day that I come home from work, and I dont have a "project area" that I want to complete before I go to bed that night. I feel really at home, and am liking my new digs very much! 

September 4, 2015

Back to scool shopping...... 2015 style

Weekend before last Doodle and I ventured out to get her some new duds for school. Doodle mapped out the stores she wanted to go to, in what order, and what she was looking for to complete this falls wardrobe.

Her first stop on the list? Forever 21. Lord help me, I love to hate this store! There is an outlet mall by our house, so we went to that instead of driving 20 minutes to the mall. I gave myself a mental pep talk, strapped on my big girl panties and marched in to the store. I was there 5 minutes and I was ready to leave.

First: I am not sure what marketing ploys Forever 21 is trying on their customers, but I don't like it. Not one bit. Most stores will have items grouped together, with multiple size offerings of said item. Not F21! They may have a rack with all black clothing on it, but do you think even 2 of those items are the same thing? Uhm, no! The size medium or large is on the OTHER SIDE of the store, making you wade through the other racks, in hopes that you will buy something else. Not to mention having to pass the idiotic tweeny boppers who are shopping in a group of 5, or with their mom's who are trying hard to keep up with hopping from rack to rack. Or giving up completely like I did. Standing in the middle of the store waiting for my kid.  

Second: While assisting Doodle in the dressing room, (by standing outside the door trying not to roll my eyes at what I was seeing come out of the OTHER dressing rooms)  I see this happen next to me:

Tweenybopper (TB): (comes out of dressing room to address mom) "I don't know, are these shorts too tight?"
Mom of said tweeny bopper (TBM): "No! They look great! Here, try this tank top with them" (said tank top was put on was as tight as the shorts)
TB: "I don't like that color. Do they have it in (fill in the blank as I didn't hear that part)
TBM: "Let me go see what else I can find....."

Here's what fascinated me by this whole convo: the TB's shorts? Were EATING her ass crack! And the TBM? Not only saw that, was telling her how great they looked AND was trying to find something to go with said shorts. And while TBM toddled off in her fancy pants capris and low cut top, trying TOO hard to look like her teenager, I thought to myself: Another generation of hookers is born.

I am not a prude by any means, and showing a little d├ęcolletage or curves is ok. But for shits sake, its our job as parents to make sure our DAUGHTERS are dressed appropriately! I don't care what's in fashion, you can always find something that you can dress your girl in that does not make her look like she is ready to take to the streets. End rant.

Third: I have officially reached the age, according to my kids, that I am not so cool anymore. I held up several things for Doodle to try on, and got a no and/or a laugh, eye-roll, head shake. Since when did I become so out of the loop? It's not like I wear elastic waist pants and a kitty sweatshirt. Yet.

Thankfully the day ended with MOST of the things on Doodles list being purchased. It was a loooong day. I was ready for a large and in charge glass of wine!

We are still on the hunt for two more items, but they have to be JUST right, so who knows when that will happen. I am just glad I only had ONE girl to shop for. I don't know how people with 2 girls or more do it.

August 12, 2015

Summer 2015

It's only been two months since I last posted but man it feels like a LIFETIME!
What could I have been possibly doing since we last chatted? Everything and anything!
Celebrated Doodle's 16th birthday.......... and took her to get her drivers license. Then let her drive my car. Alone. On the road. Oi.
Hiking, hiking, and some more hiking! NiceGuy and I are slowly conquering all the hills on the Mountain Loop Highway. Some hiking observations:
I like to start by 930am so we are done and off the mountain in time to grab some dinner (and a well deserved beer) before 9pm
  • I really hate people who cant keep their mouth shut in the forest. It's ok to talk, but if I hear you from a quarter mile away (like some annoying high school twat?) All I really just want to do is hurl something at you so you fall down the mountain and shut the fuck up. Mmm k?
  • NiceGuy made me a walking stick, which I love. How cool is that?
  • I like to start by 930am so we are done and off the mountain in time to grab some dinner (and a well deserved beer) before 9pm
  • I like the less populated hikes
We (me, Doodle and NiceGuy) took a road trip down to see my mom and Grandma in Oregon. We drank some local beer, explored some cool waterfalls and spent quality time with the fam.
Enjoying some of the fun stuff Mtown and a neighboring town have to offer: Old car shows, music in the park, fairs and much more!
Binge watching #OITNB with my Doodle, as well as our FAVORITE summer guilty pleasure.......... Big Brother! Sadly, this has been one of the more boring seasons of BB yet.
More and more time has been spent on the back of the bike with NiceGuy. I am really feeling quite comfortable back there, which is amazing considering how nervous I was to get on the bike to begin with.
Next up? #Staycation2015. Cant wait to share it with you all.

June 2, 2015

Lines have crossed, and barriers have been thrown out the window!

With what took place on Saturday, I may need to turn in my Coochie Card. I will let you be the judge.

NiceGuy and I have been together a little over a year. As most women know, you take great pains to look your best the first time you meet someone (I assume men do too?)
As time marches on, some of the things you do in your beauty routine fall by the wayside. I am not talking about the girls who get up early on the first couple of "sleepovers" to fix their hair and make-up, and you girls KNOW who you are. I am talking about wearing sweatpants and your favorite holy t-shirt in front of them, or no make-up, or not shaving your legs.

I am not super high maintenance to begin with, but I CAN tell you some of the polish and shine has worn off. Not that there was too much to begin with, as I consider myself low maintenance in the beauty department. It takes me less than 30 minutes to get ready for work. Shower, dress, hair, make up.

But back to my point. This past weekend NiceGuy and I headed out for a hike. As we FINALLY reach the top, we sit down on a rock in the sun to rest, hydrate and eat. I am sweating from head to toe. As I scratch the side of my cheek, I feel that one PESKY hair.

As you know, women reach a CERTAIN age where Nanny Goat hairs pop up. For most of us, those little gems pop up on our chins, and usually when we are out in public in the light of day for EVERYONE else to see. Like it's shouting "Look at me! I am right here! Helloooooo?"

Well, lucky me (this is going to come back to haunt me I just know it) my Nanny Goat hair comes in on the side of my cheek in those fine hairs in front of my ear. So, while it is NOT as noticeable, unless I point it out to you, this also means it is HARD to see. I can feel the little fucker, but I cant always grab it with my trusty tweezers.

So, in what I can only describe as a moment of "I dont fucking care anymore", I asked NiceGuy to pull it out for me. Gasp! Right? I have NEVER asked a member of the opposite sex to help me with ANYTHING beauty related.
Scratch a spot on my back I cant reach? Yes, please help me! Massage a sore spot, sure! But pull my Nanny Goat hair? That's it. Any pretense of barriers is gone. So I ask you this: do I need to have my Coochie Card pulled? Or am I over-reacting? I know NiceGuy is probably not as excited (read HORRIFIED) as I am to relive this story! 

I will wait, dear readers, while you decide my fate, marveling in my ability to over share with the internet.
You're welcome.

April 17, 2015

Sin City is for ME!

3 weeks ago, NiceGuy, Moxie, Nappy Tabs and I hopped a plane and went to Sin City for 4 days of fun in the sun. And oh man, was it FUN!
Checking in at Bally's

Now, this was my FIRST time in Vegas (sad right?) and let me tell you what! Having NiceGuy as our built in tour guide (and a good looking one at that) was the way to go!
Here is what I took away from my visit to Sin City:

Anything goes in Vegas
The lights of the strip really are bright/fun/fantastic
You can take an open container ANYWHERE
Not one person looks at you funny when you order a beer (or cocktail) with your breakfast. At 10am.
People watching in Vegas is a MUST
You can get what you want, when you want, because the place never sleeps. Some people could get in to a LOT of trouble with that.
Everything costs more than you think....... but its worth it
It would be necessary to live there for a month to get to see everything that I want to see
IF I lived there for more than a year I think I might need a new liver.........
The people who bring kids to Vegas are stoopid

Here are some of my favorite photos from Vegas. Of course these are NOT the ones I shared on Facebook....... I have a filter. I just rarely use it.
Only in Fremont....... (He might kill me for posting this picture but I couldnt resist)

I am certain that the security at Ceasar's has seen worse than this.....

Dayum! Look at my hot date!
At the Mirage.......... (what else do you do when YOU see a golden mermaid?)

And the alcohol graveyard we left for the maid......... We tipped her well though.
Is it time to go back to Vegas yet?

March 12, 2015

Oh Fifty.......

If you haven't seen the movie, you may want to stop reading about NOW.

The ladies and I went to go see the movie a few weekends ago. Out of the 5 that went, 4 had read the first book, 3 had read all three books, and 1 had read 1/2 of the first book.
We decided we needed a cocktail before the movie...... so we went across the street to the mexican restaurant and had an appetizer and drinks.

Perfect Margarita.

My Blue Hawaiian and Moxie's Perfect Margarita.
We had purchased our tickets about 4 days in advance, just so we could be guaranteed a seat.

We got our popcorn, drinks and napkins and settled in to our seats. Of course we had to take pictures...... (All of us with rosy cheeks thanks to the pre movie drinks)
Moxie, Nappy Tabs and Jgurl

Moxie and Lara

Moxie and I
All ages came out...... did you see the two little old ladies sitting in the back row of the first picture?
We saw one or two guys in the theater. Totally out numbered lol!
Ok, now down to the nitty gritty:
I have read the first book 3 times. The first time I read through I went so fast that when I discussed it later with Lara, I knew I had missed some stuff, so I went back and read it again.
I struggled with some of the scenes, especially the "spanking" with the belt. I have not been in, nor do I desire to be in, a BDSM relationship. There is a certain level of control that you have to give up, and if you know me, that is NEVER going to happen!
But back to the spanking. When I read the book, I was angry. Like heart beating fast, palm sweaty, brow furrowed ANGRY. Too me? That has NOTHING to do with BDSM and EVERYTHING to do with the fucked up character that E.L. James made in Christian Grey.
So when I saw THAT scene in the movie? My heart pounded just as hard. I was just as mad. And again made me feel like if Christian Grey was a real person? I would beat the ever loving shit out of him. How anyone can derive that much pleasure out of causing someone else that level of pain I do NOT understand.  
I have seen a LOT of blog posts, Facebook discussions and just general conversation about this movie, and about the books. Most of the time? Its from people who have never read the books. Which is a COMPLETE irritant. The movie does NOT do the book justice in a lot of ways.
There are the people who ASSUME they know what it is about, or if they have read it, they draw these weird ass conclusions. Here is what it REALLY is: FICTION. Like it, love it, take it or leave it. E.L. James knew a way to get in to your mind, and she has made a fortune doing it.
Most everyone will tell you, if you are actually willing to listen: This book does NOT depict a true BDSM relationship. There is NOT this manipulation, or control, or pain. Again, the book is fiction.
When I heard that the author played a large roll in writing the screenplay and adapting the book to the movie, I was really excited. And then I sat down in the theatre. And I was let down. The banter that happens back and forth between Ana and Christian via email was not as prevalent. The inner voice of Ana was also missing, and I think that was a big miss on both E.L.James and the producers part.
Most of the sex scenes, or Red Room scenes were pretty good. Although most of us were disappointed with the Red Room jeans........ they were too dark and WAY too loose.
No matter what, you can bet that I am in line to see the next two. Along with all my friends.  

March 6, 2015

Fun in February 2015

Good grief. Its been over a month since I have been on here last and I really have no excuse as to why. Its certainly NOT for lack of something to say.

Here is what I have been up to this month:

1. Because of a post that circulated around Facebook on making different types of food in a waffle iron, I had to try my hand at it. Enter pre-made cinnamon rolls.

They were quite delicious this way! Perfect breakfast for Super Bowl Sunday!

NiceGuy and I watched the game in our lounge wear, stretched out on the couch, just he and I. And these awesome snacks.

2. The following weekend was the annual Mtown Father/Daughter Dance. Doodle picked out her dress, Miss Thang did her nails and make up and I did her hair.
Here she is all dressed up and ready to go.

3. NiceGuy planned out Valentines Day for us. We actually went the night before. I knew what dress I wanted to wear, I just wanted a new pair of heels. I found these........ And promptly took them off walking the hills in Downtown Seattle. These were not for me.

Which lead to my nails being painted this way by Miss Thang.

Complete outfit. Man being a girl sometimes is hard! It took Moxie and I 90 minutes to curl all this hair! NiceGuy and I went to Downtown Seattle, had dinner at Benihana, had drinks at the Rock Bottom Brewery, and went to the Triple Door for a burlesque show. I had the best time! Although he could have taken me to Denny's (in a pair of jeans) and I would have been just as happy.

4. Was treated like a queen the next morning. No coffee in bed for me on Valentine's Day.... nope. I got a French 75. Perfection!

2 of these bad boys later and I had to take a nap!

5. NiceGuy and I decorated my living room for V-day as I was hosting the annual hood kids dinner. Here they all are (minus one). Love these kids.

Moxie and I (she helped at the dinner too)

HOW made a cute cake for all the kids. It was delicious!

I tried a couple of new recipes this year (exploding soda was my favorite) and these:
Red Velvet Chocolate Chip Cookies

Thanks to NiceGuy and Moxie's help, we hosted 10 kids for dinner. We had lasagna, garlic bread, salad, exploding soda, cake and cookies with sparkling cider, games (mad libs, Valentines word search, Pictionary, Apples to Apples) a photo booth and a dance party! Lots of fun!
6. We had another Double J Adventure..... this time to Pinnacle Lake. It was so quiet at the top my ears were ringing with the silence.

7. Went to see Fifty Shades of Grey with my gal pals. More on that later.
8. The boss lady was getting rid of her treadmill, so I took it! Its awesome to be back to running and to be able to do it while I watch tv is fantastic!!!

There is February in a nutshell.

January 30, 2015

I'm not really a germaphobe. Well, I dont think so. Ok, maybe?

I have been sick 3 TIMES in the last 5weeks. First I got a cold. Then got better. Then caught a second cold. Then got better. Then got the damn flu. I am REALLY tired of the runny nose, the cough, the head and body aches and not being able to breathe. I am sick and tired of BEING tired and sick.
I do have some choice words for the snatch that gave me the flu. Ahem. First? Fuck you. Second? Cover your damn mouth when you cough/sneeze/hack in a room full of people. Third? How about you STAY HOME when you are sick?
My general thoughts about the flu:
I didn't have the energy to get off the couch. For 4 days. I am pretty sure that even though my couch and I were married during that time? Said couch would now like an annulment. Because I smelled. BAD. Even I could smell myself by the last day. Through my plugged up nose. After spending 24 hours a day on the couch, for 4 days, I was RIPE.
Why is it you can only breathe out of one side of your nose at a time? Its like Mother Nature is telling you to slow your roll gurl.......thinking you should be able to breathe........ as if.  You roll on to your left side to breathe out of your right nostril. And for that 5 fleeting seconds, you can actually take in a FULL breath, from both nostrils, and you feel ACCOMPLISHED. Only to have that feeling vanish in to thin air. So you frantically roll to your right side, desperately wishing for air to pass through the left side of your nostril. Not happening. I swear you can hear Mother Nature laughing in the background.
Why is it when I have the flu, EVERYTHING annoys the hell out of me for 4-5 days, and I could cry at the drop of a hat?
Even the Kleenex with the lotion in it DOES NOT make my nose feel better when I am plowing through it at the rate of almost a box a day. By the time I add something to soothe my nose, I just have to blow it again and start the lubrication process over. #icant win
For all the coughing that I do, two things result. One, I need to purchase more stock in the Poise pad company. 2 kids+coughing=pee. B, I have a rock hard 6 pack underneath my winter layer. All that coughing is like the best ab workout money can buy you. 
As if ALL OF THAT isnt enough to make you run screaming for the hills? I also got to spend 2 of my VACATION days on the flu. I owe the mother fucker that gave me the flu a few more choice words.
I am FINALLY on the road to recovery. I am off the couch. I have on clean clothes and I have showered. I am starting to get some color back to my cheeks and I no longer sound like Phyllis Diller.

End rant.