April 28, 2014

Men are STOOPPIIDD. Period.

That title pretty much says it all right? Ladies, can I get an amen?

Most of you know I am now single, and ready to mingle. This can be a bit of a challenge for me, as I am not a bar fly, and when I do go out, its usually with my ladies and I am playing wing man (however I apparently suck at this lol).

I usually revert to online dating as that seems to be the easiest plan for me, and puts me out there, without having to actually GO out. Now, there have been some crazies...... remember Psycho Boi? Boy wasn't that fun? NOT.

Men say that women are the ones to play games......... let me tell you a little of this about that: I think these men online are sneakier than any woman I know. Granted, I try to only surround myself with good people.

I have had a few messages, a few dates. One guy just stopped talking to me after 4
dates with a lame ass excuse, one guy turned out to be the dad of a school mate of Doodle's (AWKWARD). Its been an entertaining crap shoot to say the least.
Both Moxie and I have had some interesting conversations AND revelations about our ex's, and about the men we have met online. Here is the conclusion we have come to: MEN are fucking stupid! Seriously. I may not be the sharpest tack in the box, but neither am I the dullest knife in the drawer. When you tell me something, and I found out the exact opposite, or that you deliberately deceived me or omitted the truth? I WILL FIND OUT. I am not stupid, even though there are times I would be willing to give the benefit of the doubt to a man. Even IF they don't DESERVE it.
Why can't MEN be HONEST with a girl? Whether in a relationship, or when you break up...... why does there have to be lies? And cruelty? Last time I checked, we were all adults....... so why do the men get to be so damn nasty? Granted, most people tend to lash out when they are hurt this way, but at what point do they have to take responsibility for being an ass? EVER?
Here is another thing I don't get: I am a woman who doesn't play games. Seriously. For almost EVERYTHING, what you see is what you GET with me. I know Moxie to be the same way. So, why can't guys do that too? I know we can not be the only single ladies asking this question. If a man meets a beautiful woman, they become intimate, and the next morning he has no clue who is waking up to, does he feel deceived? Once the make up has worn off, the Spanx sit crumpled in a puddle on the floor, the push up bra is gone to reveal boobs that sag in to her armpits and the hair extensions are hanging on by a small thread........
I think the same holds true for girls who go out with a guy who in the beginning, says ALL the right hings. To find out 5 or 6 dates later, he was a COMPLETE asshole and a waste of her time. Do we feel deceived? Hell yeah!
I am SO tired of the run around. At my age, I want some very simple things in an intimate relationship. Here they are:
Good looking (at least to me)
Is that too much to ask? Sometimes I feel like I am shooting for the moon when I look for these qualities. I don't want to have more kids, and I don't want to parent someone else's (I have my own parenting to do). I find that I have less and less tolerance for men when something feels fishy.
I just don't have the time or the energy to put in to a relationship that is half assed. I have learned my lesson, and know that I AM better than that. I know I deserve better. A relationship does NOT define me, but I don't want to be alone forever either. There has got to be MORE than what I see. Please tell me there is.
Until then, the ladies and I will continue to raise out glasses at Friday Night Wine Club and enjoy ourselves........... with or without a man!

April 25, 2014

Easter 2014

Had my cherubs for Easter this year. Kiddos opened their Easter baskets first thing in the morning.
Here is mine........ all the leftovers.
The table was set for dinner, minus the silverware. Jumped the gun a little in this photo huh?
Lil C and Doodle also added to my "basket" of goodies with my FAVORITE Easter treat!
Lil C had to head off to work (oh, the horrors of working retail). Doodle and I spent a relaxing morning and early afternoon hanging out.
We finally got dressed about 2pm. Moxie and her chitlins were coming over for dinner.
Moxie brought me Easter treats too! The BEST kind. Coffee and booze and chocolate. I love that woman.
Moxie and her kiddos
Of course it is tradition for Moxie and I to pose together with our wine glasses.....
Here is the DELICIOUS ham I made. All 11.72 pounds of it.
My plate right before I devoured every last bite.
Yummy dessert cookies and cupcakes made by the girls......
Me and my Doodle
My Lil C and I
I am the shorty here....... love these two SO MUCH.

April 16, 2014

Alcoholic? Yay or Nay.....

The last 2 1/2 months have been interesting, to say the least. I have had some HIGH highs, and some LOW lows. I have struggled with intimate relationships, my health (in multiple forms), put up with other people's crap, and dealt with the loss of family member....... just to mention a few.
So, needless to say, I have been drinking a LOT of wine lately. Shocked? Probably not. Have I been drinking alone? Hell no! I think I have spent more on wine in 2014 then I spent all of 2013. And that's damn near NOT an exaggeration.
I have lost 3 pounds, gained 7, lost 2 more. I have had more ups and downs than a fucking yo-yo. And the only thing that has gotten me through it? Wine. Well, and my friends too. I can not count the number of eye rolls that I got from Doodle when she realized it was a "wine" night. AGAIN. I was earning my "Mother of the Year" award EVERY. DAMN. DAY. Don't be jelly.
About 2 weeks ago I started to question if I truly was an alcoholic. First, I had to find out what the word meant. Oh Google? Can you help a sister out?
Dear Merriam Webster defines it as:


adjective \ˌal-kə-ˈh-lik, -ˈhä-\
: of, containing, or caused by alcohol
: affected with alcoholism
According to the Mayo Clinic, alcoholism is defined as:
Alcoholism is a chronic and often progressive disease that includes problems controlling your drinking, being preoccupied with alcohol, continuing to use alcohol even when it causes problems, having to drink more to get the same effect (physical dependence), or having withdrawal symptoms when you rapidly decrease or stop drinking. If you have alcoholism, you can't consistently predict how much you'll drink, how long you'll drink, or what consequences will occur from your drinking.
Uhm, Merriam Webster? Suck it. With that definition almost anyone who has ever had ONE SIP of alcohol is an alcoholic.
Mayo Clinic? Sounds like I wont be needing your services!
Now that I knew what the word meant, I had to then take a good hard look in the mirror. What was the wine really doing for me? Was I just numbing the emotions to get through a difficult time? (Yes, yes, yes). Was I drinking to get drunk? NO. (HELL NO) Was I blacking out? (NO) Was I craving it any time during the day? (A BIG FAT NO)
So, in essence, it was my crutch for 10 weeks. Ok. At least its not cocaine. Right? Do I need to cut back? Hell ya...... so no wine for me this week! Until Friday Night Wine Club. Which happens damn near EVERY Friday. And has for the past year. And I'm ok with it. And if you arent? You can suck it........ just like Merriam Webster. K?

April 10, 2014

Getting old is for the birds........

As you saw from the last post, I managed to hurt my wrist at the beginning of March. What surprised me the most was that I hurt it doing something I do EVERY year. Huh?
For those of you who don't know, I am a Girl Scout leader. As if that job is NOT enough. CHB and I decide to add insult to injury and be the Cookie Managers for ALL of Mtown. Which is THOUSANDS of boxes of cookies. Ugh.
During a routine pickup of approx 200 cases of cookies, I managed to hurt my wrist. I didn't think too much of it and went about my ridiculously busy day. By the end of the day, my wrist was throbbing, and as I sat at CHB's table consoling myself with a glass of vino, she whipped this bad boy out.
The very SECOND I put the brace on, I felt relief. NOT a good sign. So, like any self diagnosed patient, I continued to wear the brace for the next 4 weeks.
Until my wrist started to make a cracking/popping sound. THEN, and only then, did I say it was time to see the ACTUAL doctor.
See? Doesn't look like there is a lot wrong here does there? 
So, I make my appointment, and I haul my arse in to the doctors office. I show him my wrist, demonstrate the popping/cracking noise, and he nods and presses on my wrist in different places. He sends me down to XRay, even though he doesn't think it is broken.
I get the pretty pictures of my wrist taken by this machine:
 The technician asks me if I could be pregnant...... prior to placing the special bib across my waist. I said "HELL NO" but if those special rays from your big machine will ensure that NEVER happens again, I don't want to wear the bib thingy. His look said "no dice"......... damnit. I tried.
After all the pictures are reviewed, it is determined that my wrist is sprained. Great. The good doc gave me some exercises to do, and told me to take ibuprofen. If my wrist does not improve in the next 4 weeks, call. The doc would then set me up for physical therapy.
I also lamented about the brace that I had while I was there. I asked if I could get a shorter one that still supported my wrist, but that didn't hinder damn near every movement. I was given the all clear for that.
I get myself at new brace at the drug store that night. Here she be........

So now I rocking this fashion statement. And it is fucking up my daily movements. BUT, it does make my wrist feel better, so I will do what the good doc says. And TRY to slow down.
Yeah, not gonna happen! This getting old business is totes for the birds.

April 3, 2014

March Madness 2014

Dear Readers,
There is so much that has happened in the last 2 months that I could not even begin to explain. So in the interest of not boring you to death with all the mundane details, which may cause you to gouge your own eyes out and/or start drinking IMMEDIATELY, I have decided to show you what I was up to for the month (according to my dear iPhone) and let you draw your own conclusions.
Hot Chocolate 5k run in downtown Seattle
CHB and I hauling case after case after case of these &%@! damn  cookies
Ladies Night Shots (Good 'ole Moonshine)
Downtown Seattle selling cookies with my girls
My wrist injury (from hauling said cookies)
Which led to a LOT of this.....
Corned Beef in the crock pot for St Patricks Day
Flowers from a sweet friend
80's Dance Night at the elementary school
Doodle at the roller rink (celebrating HOW's 11th bday)
At Red Robin to celebrate Bushwacker's bday
After a few glasses of wine, CHB and I were craving sweets. So we made a late night run to the convenience store. (Slow your roll..... Bushwacker drove us) Here is what CHB wore:
This is what I came home with:
Impromptu birthday lunch at Haggens for Sushi Wednesday
My current favorite song
The "old" hood got together and as you can see, things went south quickly.....
I did the 2014 Winter Challenge after being nominated byDoodle. It was fucking COLD.