June 28, 2012


My dearest readers, followers, silent stalkers:

A rebuttal for THIS POST from a few days ago is REQUIRED.
Let me start by clarifying a few points:

1. I do not share my blog with my children, or anyone else's children. When I post it to Facebook, or link it anywhere, I make sure to hide it from anyone under the age 18.

2. This blog is about ME, for ME, expressing MY thoughts/opinions.

3. Last time I checked, I live in the USA. Where I have the FREEDOM, under the 1st Amendment, to say what I WANT. It is ok if ANY of you don't like it. But, since you are here reading it, there must be some draw? If not, see that little "X" at the top right of your screen? Use it. See ya later.

As I am sure you are guessing, HeeHaw has reached out to me since reading my last blog post. A little upset? Oh yes. The first attack was via phone. He wanted to know what I got out of blogging, why I was doing it and when I would stop spreading lies about him. He also wanted to, out of the kindness of his heart I'm sure, let me know that my blog made ME look like the "fool" and a complete "idiot". That if I write "trash", I must be "trash". Really?

Here is what I have to say about that. HeeHaw, read VERY carefully ok? I DO NOT have to answer to you. We are divorced remember? My reasons for having this blog have nothing to do with you and too bad if you don't "approve". I stopped caring what you thought/felt/need/want a LONG time ago. Got it?

After yet another pointless phone conversation with HeeHaw, an hour later a text rolls through. And I quote:

"You are a pathetic little girl! Instead of trying to dig up dirt on me by texting my friends...why don't you try and be a bigger person, a better mom...I forgot, IT IS ALL ABOUT BANJO...GET BETTER FRIENDS THAN CHB. SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN BAD NEWS...ALL THAT LAZY OVERWIEGHT PERSON DOES IS TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND EAT...IT'S NO WONDER THE WAY YOU ARE"

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Seriously! So, I forwarded the message to BOTH CHB and Moxie. Little does HeeHaw know that CHB and I don't hang out but once in a blue moon anymore. We are not the friends we used to be. BIG assumption on his part.

But what I found the most interesting from the above statement was this: HeeHaw claims to be so Christian like, and then sends something like this to me. Not one person I know, who also knows HeeHaw, has ANY problem with the fact that he is Christian, or goes to church. What WE ALL have a problem with is this: quit claiming to be Christian and acting like a jackass every time you deal with one of us. Quit using your damn facade to hide behind. Why not man up and show people who you really are? That way, when you say that you are a Christian and you make mistakes, it's more believable. Your actions in regards to your faith are so two faced, but then again, this is nothing new. You were like this the entire time we were married.

CHB's stepdaughter got wind of the latest text, and fired off a Facebook response to HeeHaw. She told him things like:

"I would like to start by saying how disappointed I am in you.

How dare you bring my family into your immature bickering.CHB is the most caring and loving person I know. Who has been a trusted person in your children's life for as long as they can remember. How dare you take low blows at her. Whether to her face or in some lame text message to your ex wife and mother of your children. You are a grown man and claim to be christian. But you actions are so much less then that."

To which HeeHaw replies:

"Let me start by saying that I have no beef with you. To my face you have been friendly. I have held a grudge against CHB for some time. I partially blame her for Banjo and my divorce. I have seen firsthand the slander come from her mouth towards others. And, it has grown on Banjo over the years…misery loves company. I have tried to be neighborly, and even at times to come over and apologize for my feelings towards her and talk it out. Somehow, that group of friends seems to think me going to church and being a Christian makes me think I am a better person than everyone else. That is very wrong. I have many faults, and try to work on them. Lots of times I fail. Many times I have wanted to go over to your parents’ house and try to sew things up, but the pride in me tells me that they would not give me the time of day…so why even try. Your dad used to be friendly, now he won’t even look at me. I treat your sisters with respect, and talk to them when they are around. I have said hurtful things about CHB in my anger and it wasn’t right. But, it is hard to be a better or bigger person when all that comes out is negativity towards me. I don’t understand why Banjo and CHB need to say so many negative things and lies about me and LL. Is Banjo still hurt by the divorce? And, LL has done nothing to them, and is a great step-mom. I am sure you can appreciate that. I know this will probably get passed around to the crew. So, I will say this: CHB, I am sorry for the mean and hurtful things I have said about you. It was wrong. Banjo, I hope someday we can be amicable. I realize this may not happen until the kids are graduated, but I will try. I ask that you please quit slandering me and LL. Once again…I am a Christian, I have made and will make mistakes, and I do not think myself better than anyone of you!"

Oh HeeHaw...... there are so many things wrong with your above statement. Let's start with the most obvious. You obviously have NO CLUE what the word slander means. So, in my effort to help educate those around me, I have taken the time to pull the definition of the word from 3 very trusted sources.

slanders; slandered; slander·ing [+ obj] : to make a false spoken statement that causes people to have a bad opinion of someone

slan·der   /ˈslændər/ Show Spelled[slan-der] Show IPA
1. defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
2. a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
3. Law . defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.

slander (slander)
Pronunciation: /ˈslɑːndə/noun
[mass noun] Law
the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person’s reputation:

Now that we have all read this, you must agree that I did not "slander" you or LL. I take great pains to show an accurate portrayal of everything. While you may not like being seen as less than perfect to everybody on here, I did not lie about what happened. I know several people who were there, and they are not all people you personally know. When I have 5 people telling me the same story, I think it happened.

I could make all KINDS of stuff up on here, but what's the point? Real life is WAY better than fiction! And besides, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried!

I am not now, nor am I ever going to be "still hurt" by our divorce. I am not jealous of your relationship with LL, and I could give 2 shits whether you think or believe that your marriage is better than this that or the other. I am happier today, now that we are divorced. I can't believe I made myself believe we were EVER happily married.

I am the one who decided to leave you. Not CHB, not Moxie, not Miss Ell, nor any of my FRIENDS who knew me, or you, or us as a married couple. We had problems WAY before I ever met CHB..... or have you conveniently forgotten about those?

I finally got tired of the infidelity, the controlling behavior, the domineering attitude towards me, the selfishness, the two faced religious way of life, and most all, I got SICK AND TIRED of being unhappy. EVERY. DAY. OF. MY. LIFE. I am a grown ass woman. I make my own decisions. Are you telling me that you, HeeHaw, honestly believe that CHB has so much power over me that she made us get divorced? Wow. You might be more delusional than I thought.

Every time you say something nasty, because you are Christian, we are supposed to forget and forgive. How about this? Stop saying nasty things. The other option? Quit hiding behind your religion as your excuse for your nasty behavior.

Let me remind you once again: this is my blog. If you don't like what I say here, don't read it. If your "friends" read this, and they don't like what I am saying, they don't need to read it either. I am not here to make you look good, nor am I here to make your life easier. I can, and I will, continue to write here about how I feel, what happens in the world around me, and my thoughts and opinions on it. The fact that it rubs you the wrong way and gets your knickers in a twist? Side bonus for me!

I don't care that you think I am making a "fool" of myself, or being an "idiot". I don't care if everyone thinks I am being manipulative, bitchy, or a bitter ex wife. If I really worried about that? We might still be married and I sure as hell wouldn't be blogging about your latest antics.

June 26, 2012

Oh, how the mighty have fallen

It finally happened.

I knew it would, sooner rather than later.

I have only been waiting for a year and a half.

And it was as good as I thought it would be.

What am I referring to?

Well ladies and germs, the fall of the HeeHaw facade.

Just typing that splits my face from ear to ear with a shit eating grin.

Over the weekend, HeeHaw got his hands on some Jaeger. It's not Jaeger-meister, it's the Jaeger-monster. The only alcohol he should NEVER have. And he wants crazy/nutso/psychotic (like usual).

Why is this news worthy? Because EVERYONE saw it.

No longer was it the "stories" I made up when he was drunk. Nor was it me just being "bitchy" and not allowing HeeHaw anywhere NEAR a bottle of Jaeger. Gone is having to regulate EVERY alcoholic beverage that came anywhere near HeeHaw at a party. No more fear of what asshole was going to bring the forbidden liquid in to our house, trying to sneak it past me, the wicked witch.

It became a comedy of errors towards the end of our marriage. These drunken episodes would happen just enough months apart to where I would just have "forgotten" about the previous episode. HeeHaw would swear I was making up the things he did when he was intoxicated. I started taking pictures of his insane behavior. Then he would ask me the next morning what happened. Then would tell me I was over reacting or making up what happened. And he would wonder why I was still mad from the night before: having to chase his idiot ass around, clean up after him, finally tuck him in to bed, all the while listening to his non stop chatter about how I was "ruining" his good time.

The best part of all of this? Other than no longer having to deal with it? It happened in front of sooooo many people that HeeHaw and I both know. I do wonder what LL thought of all of this........ The silver lining to this latest episode? Once again, HeeHaw himself has proven himself a hypocrite. He claims to be so high and mighty, talking religious circles, claiming he is such a good Christian, who is better than everyone else, when in reality he is no better than anyone else.

June 19, 2012

She did WHAT?

Ladies and Germs,

I have had a little work done......

She did What? Where? When? Who said that was a good idea?

Now before you go getting your knickers in a bunch, I got a little "bling" added to my wardrobe. 

I got my nose pierced! 

I have been wanting this for a while. I had admired my friend Jgurl's piercing for a while. I asked her lots of questions. 

And then, I finally bit the proverbial bullet and went down to Infusion Studio to get it done.

Jgurl was there to hold my hand, and take pictures, through the whole process. I knew if she entrusted Saint D at Infusion Studio LLC with her beautiful nose, I could trust him to do mine.

Here is Jgurl and I "before"

 Saint D as he marks the spot

 Eyes closed, gripping the ends of the table......

Deep breath, exhale and bam! It's in!

 And boy did my eyes water...... more than I was expecting!

Jgurl caught me right afterwards, shiny eyes and all.

Saint D and I  

Please, go check them out! He does amazing work and walked me through all the steps. Explained the ENTIRE process and was very knowledgeable.

Thank you Jgurl for taking me! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way it turned out!

June 15, 2012

Not Pregnant, Not Swollen, Most Definitely Crazy

So I went to the doctors office last week, as you know.

I checked in, paid my ridiculous co-pay (thanks to single plan coverage, just one more "perk" of being divorced) went to sit by CHB and PIA, who were seated down the row from me. PIA was in for allergy shots.....

We played some game on the iPod while waiting for my name to be called.

First things first: stepping on the scale. Ugh. Anyone else hating doing that? All the ladies ought to have their hands up right now.

I go through the symptoms, chit chat with the nurse, and finally see my doctor. He is a mild mannered man, soft spoken, very knowledgeable.

So? What the heck is wrong with me Dr? I am tired of feeling and looking prego at every waking moment.

The good doctor does his physical exam, consults his notes, and lets me know......... I have high blood pressure. THAT is what is causing my swelling, my severe bloating, and my discomfort.


So, 3 vials of blood, a urine sample and a consultation with a pharmacist later, I am out the door with a prescription for water pills, and a promise of a follow up appointment in 3 weeks.

If my blood pressure is not low enough then, I will have to be prescribed additional meds at that time. Awesome.

Benefits? Hell yes! My swelling is GONE, I no longer look pregnant, my stomach has dropped 3 inches already, and I have lost 5 pounds!

Now, if only the numbers on the blood pressure machine I got would start to go down.........

June 12, 2012

Memorial Day 2012

On Memorial Day, Doodle and I headed to the cemetery in Mtown.

On the main drag through town, there were flags posted everywhere.

But most of the flags were proudly standing at attention at the cemetery in the middle of town for all to see.

So, Doodle and I walked the cemetery loop, and I snapped pictures.

Here are the best. Enjoy.

As the wind picked up, the flags snapped in front of us.

The lone flags at the graves of the Veterans.

Thank you to all who have served for our country.

June 6, 2012

Pregnant, Swollen or Just plain crazy?

So I am headed to the doctor today. Why?

Well over the last few weeks my body has been doing some weird things.

My feet are swelling almost daily.

My hands feel like they are on fire. Cause they are HOT, HOT, HOT.

My stomach has been bloated daily. So much so, I look 6 months pregnant. And its uncomfortable.

I am retaining water like crazy! When I get on the scale every morning and I am 5 pounds lighter than the day before yet I look like I have gained 10 pounds, you know something is wrong.

Other than that? I'm peachy keen.

It was pretty comical trying to explain this to the nurse on the phone when I was making my appointment.

Yes, Nurse Nancy, I feel fine. I would just like to not have sausage feet and look like I'm pregnant. Mmmkk?

So, off I go to the doctor to see what the heck is wrong with me.