May 15, 2013

Hell hath NO FURY like a woman scorned....

Its as old as time.
There have been songs written about it.
Movies made out of it.
TV shows where it a reoccurring theme.
Real life court room drama because of it.
Reject a woman, for whatever reason, and she will make your life HELL until SHE moves on. The man could cheat, pick someone else over you, or never give you the time of day. Doesn't matter.
All the woman will hear is that she is NOT good enough, NOT pretty enough, NOT smart enough, NOT ______ enough (fill in the blank).
Now, we have all dealt with rejection in our life at some point. Some of us, better than others.
I have recently seen what a woman scorned will do to irritate, manipulate, and mis-handle the situation and it is aggravating, funny, but aggravating to say the least.
Bitch please. If the man doesn't want you, MOVE the fuck on. Why on earth would you want to be with someone who didn't want to be with you?
Instead of cyber stalking him, or his new girl, let it go.
I swear I picture the "crazy one" like this:
Hiding behind a clump of bushes, or behind a car, evil grin plastered across her face, plotting her next "genius" move.
Every time she pops up, and I hear her latest rant, I laugh. It is so obvious to everyone else BUT HER that she needs to move on.
Someday she will look back at this and be embarrassed by her actions.
Spill it readers. What have you seen/heard/witnessed/experienced a scorned woman do? 
(All images courtesy of Google)

May 10, 2013

If I die, I want to come back as a teenager

Seriously. Think about it.
As a teenager, you don't have a mortgage. You don't have to buy groceries, pay the electric bill, budget your money or cook dinner.
Sounds pretty great right?
I want to be able to whine, bitch and moan to get what I want.
I want to throw a hissy fit when things don't go exactly my way.
I want to expect my parents to stop whatever they are doing so that I can do what I WANT to do, at the EXACT moment I want to do it.
I want to use unkind words, insults and general surliness against all of my family. And then 5 minutes later act like nothing is wrong.
I want to roll my eyes at WHATEVER adult who is trying to counsel me.
I want to leave my room a mess, not do all my homework, bitch about doing chores, complain about being bored, and not lift a finger to help anyone OTHER than myself.
I want to ask "What's for dinner" and not be expected to help.
I want to pout when I am told no.
Of course I will ALWAYS know more than my parents about EVERYTHING.
And because I am a teenager, I will not have to say I am sorry. Ever.
Who's with me?

May 3, 2013

Titles, Labels, Generalizations

And, here we go.
We are all guilty of it. Don't even pretend you aren't because I am calling bullshit.
We ALL use labels or titles in reference to other people.
Short guy driving a monster truck? Small penis and he is compensating.
Woman walking by with too much makeup on, falling out of her clothes that are skin tight? Hooker.
I am SO guilty of this. I LOVE to people watch! SeaTown has some great places to sit and watch the masses walk by.
Most of the time, I know NOTHING about the people walking by, but based on their hair color, clothes, makeup, tats or piercings, I can weave the best stories out of thin air about their lives. AND I don't feel guilty for doing it. Or sharing it with others.
However, EVERY woman I know has that ONE word, ONE title, ONE label that gets the hair on the back of her neck to stand up if someone calls her by it.
Of course you want to know what MY one word/title/label is right?
To me, a SOCCER MOM is:
A yuppie. Living the Minivan dream. Or the Suburban dream. Take your pick. Stay at home mom. Sits at Starbucks sipping her latte (that takes her 5 minutes to order because she MUST have this or that added), with her yuppie friends, in the latest of clothes that EVERY other SOCCER MOM is wearing, talking about the most useless of topics, like what color their nail polish is, or the newest thing on sale at Banana Republic.
Ugh. I think I just vomited in my mouth.
These are the women that cant go camping because they can't get DIRTY. Their idea of "Roughing it" is a hotel. They are more concerned with what goes on their body than the nastiness they spew out of their mouths as they talk about us REGULAR moms. They take longer to get ready to go to the grocery store than I take getting ready for work every day. These women have HIGH MAINTENANCE written all over them.
You know us REGULAR mom's when you see us. The ones that show up in a dirty car. That don't have their hair and makeup done like they just came from the salon to go to a SOCCER game. That don't spend the whole game talking about EVERYONE ELSE. We are the back of the bus crowd, laughing and having a good time in each others company, no matter WHAT you are wearing. We actually WATCH the game.
Now don't get me wrong...... I have NO problem with these women. I am just NOT one of them. And I don't want to be LABELED as one.
Yes, Doodle plays soccer. Yes, I go to her sporting events and Yes, I drive an SUV. This does NOT make me a SOCCER MOM.
I am an individual and should be LABELED as such. Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
So spill it readers, whats your WORD/TITLE/LABEL that gets your claws to come out?