The last 2 1/2 months have been interesting, to say the least. I have had some HIGH highs, and some LOW lows. I have struggled with intimate relationships, my health (in multiple forms), put up with other people's crap, and dealt with the loss of family member....... just to mention a few.
So, needless to say, I have been drinking a LOT of wine lately. Shocked? Probably not. Have I been drinking alone? Hell no! I think I have spent more on wine in 2014 then I spent all of 2013. And that's damn near NOT an exaggeration.
I have lost 3 pounds, gained 7, lost 2 more. I have had more ups and downs than a fucking yo-yo. And the only thing that has gotten me through it? Wine. Well, and my friends too. I can not count the number of eye rolls that I got from Doodle when she realized it was a "wine" night. AGAIN. I was earning my "Mother of the Year" award EVERY. DAMN. DAY. Don't be jelly.
About 2 weeks ago I started to question if I truly was an alcoholic. First, I had to find out what the word meant. Oh Google? Can you help a sister out?
Dear Merriam Webster defines it as:
adjective \ˌal-kə-ˈhȯ-lik, -ˈhä-\
: of, containing, or caused by alcohol
According to the Mayo Clinic, alcoholism is defined as:
Alcoholism is a chronic and often progressive disease that includes problems controlling your drinking, being preoccupied with alcohol, continuing to use alcohol even when it causes problems, having to drink more to get the same effect (physical dependence), or having withdrawal symptoms when you rapidly decrease or stop drinking. If you have alcoholism, you can't consistently predict how much you'll drink, how long you'll drink, or what consequences will occur from your drinking.
Uhm, Merriam Webster? Suck it. With that definition almost anyone who has ever had ONE SIP of alcohol is an alcoholic.
Mayo Clinic? Sounds like I wont be needing your services!
Now that I knew what the word meant, I had to then take a good hard look in the mirror. What was the wine really doing for me? Was I just numbing the emotions to get through a difficult time? (Yes, yes, yes). Was I drinking to get drunk? NO. (HELL NO) Was I blacking out? (NO) Was I craving it any time during the day? (A BIG FAT NO)
So, in essence, it was my crutch for 10 weeks. Ok. At least its not cocaine. Right? Do I need to cut back? Hell ya...... so no wine for me this week! Until Friday Night Wine Club. Which happens damn near EVERY Friday. And has for the past year. And I'm ok with it. And if you arent? You can suck it........ just like Merriam Webster. K?