March 25, 2010

My New Title

Hi, my name is Banjo and I am a divorcee. Yep, that is my new title. I will work it, own it and cherish it like noboy's business.

I started off this morning with an upset stomach. With my trip to the courthouse loomin gin my head I could barely choke down my coffee. I worked a 1/2 day in order to keep my mind busy. I drove to the lawyers office so we could make sure I had all the correct copies and we walked to the courthouse together. She warned me on the way over that I may get emotional while standing in front of the judge and there would be kleenex there for me.

HEE HAW was already there when we marched up the courthouse steps. The lawyer and I grabbed the master file from the clerl's office and went to put our name on the list. There were a few cases before us and so now all we had to do was sit and wait.

When our name was called I knew what to expect. The lawyer would ask a few questions in front of the judge to make sure all info listed in documents was correct, then the judge would sign off and we were free to go. Well, that all SOUNDS great but in actuality I got through the first 2 questions no problem and then the floodgates opened. I had all these emotions coursing through my veins and it caught me completely off guard. The whole time I just faced the judge, even though HEE HAW was standing to my right until I could compose myself.

We stamped all of our documents and went our seperate ways. I thanked the lawyer, called CHB and then cried most of the way home, another surprise for me. I really felt like I had this all wrapped up emotionally, but I guess I had a few more tears to shed huh?

I DO feel a sense of relief now that this mess is all wrapped up. 14 years is a long time to give to anyone. Now the "fun" begins. Finding out if there is anyone who would be willing to date/understand/tolerate/cherish this bundle of anxiety that carries a hell of a lot of baggage. So what am I doing now? Enjoying a glass of wine, eating apeice of chocolate cake and watching Modern Family.

2 comments:

Crazy Mom of 2! said...

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!

You will enjoy your life and someone will TRULY enjoy you when it's right...

Anonymous said...

Big hugs to you girl! Take things VERY slowly. There is someone out there that will be able to appreciate you the way you deserve to be appreciated, and realize all you have to give rather beating you down and pointing out your faults. Right now just focus on those kids and take the time to find yourself. Give the next 8 years to them.
Remember, there is always something to be thankful for and if you focus on your blessings it's much easier to hold your chin up high.
"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus