November 16, 2009

So back home! Whirlwind weekend as always when we take 11 girls camping! So glad to have CHB's help, and how could I forget that HOW was coming along????? I think the girls had a good time, even though we felt like we yelled at them all weekend????
It was great to be away for the weekend but at the same time, when I came back I was immediately thrown in to what I wanted to get away from. I hate this shit. There is no other word for it. I hate what this does to me, my life but I really hate what this does to my kids. I am adult, I can "handle" it, but they can not escape from it. Is it possible for him to be blind to this? Really?
Here's another thing: how come he rises above this smelling like the proverbial rose and I come out like a steaming pile of cow dung? He gets the house, the neighborhood, the paid off vehicle, and all the people we have met (with the exception of my girlfriends and family). Meanwhile I have to move, I get the car payment and the look of disdain everywhere I go. Is this because I am choosing not to talk about what happened with them? Or am I just such a bitch that everyone ASSUMES it was me? I don't claim to be perfect but this is NOT ALL MY FAULT. Yet I get to reap the "benefits" like I started some type of holy war. Nice.

1 comment:

Saralee said...

I hate it all too!!!! I so wish he would wake up and give you a chance. I am sooooo sorry for the kids! I know I can't do much . . . but I will keep praying!!
Hugs!! ♥