So there are many stages of grief, no matter what you have lost. So, in true "me" fashion, I had to rearrange the order of them. I enjoy messing up the flow you know? BUT they exist none the less.
I went straight in to Anger. Yep. I held on to that for quite a while. (I am good at that). In there was some Guilt and Embarrassment before I hit Denial. I have said this before and I will say it again. I WANT TO GO BACK THERE. I loved living in my insulated Denial bubble! I thought I was doing so good and I was making all kinds of progress. Yeah, no.
Once that Denial bubble was so rudely popped, I went in to Bargaining. Yeah, that didn't really get me anywhere. So now, while I don't think I am truly in the Depression state (watch out everyone) I know I am not to the Acceptance yet.
It takes time, so everyone says, and I understand that. I just want to be further along in the process you know? Who wants to dredge through all the feelings unless absolutely necessary? I feel in limbo right now. While part of me knows that will change, the other part doesn't want it to get worse, only better.
Here is to hoping the last steps are easier, rather than harder. Fingers crossed.
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