May 10, 2012

Quiet Musings

Mothers Day is rapidly approaching.

Prior to the divorce, I would spend Mother's Day "non-mothering". Are you all familiar with that?

I would decide what it was I wanted to do that day. Whether going to lunch with my friends, shopping kid free (a wonderful treat when they were younger), a mani/pedi session, or just crafting the day away, I was free to do as I wished. I was free to not feel bad for taking the day off. My children knew I loved them, and vice verse, so there was no guilt for taking a "mommy" holiday.

Most years, after I was done "non-mothering" the family and I would either sit down to a meal made by the children, or be taken out to eat.

There was a year when our group of hood-ladies got all the kids together and they cooked us a wonderful brunch AND did all the dishes!

Like most moms I know, it is nice to be recognized and/or appreciated for the job we do 365 days a year. So, we relish in taking a day off and basking under the glow of thanks for a job well done.

This year is a little different for me.

Now, this will be my 3rd Mother's Day since the divorce. No biggie, but as usual, each year brings it's own special challenge. LL has been in the picture for a whole year as the chitlins step-mom.

Last year, I really didn't have any weird feelings on this day. This year? Yep. They are here. Awesome.

Now, ever since LL has been in the picture, HeeHaw has been quick to toot her step-mom horn, making sure that I, as well as everyone else know, what a great motherly figure she is. While HeeHaw took every opportunity to tell me what a crappy job I did as a mom, apparently that is not the case with LL.

But, I digress. This year, I just feel sad. For several reasons.

1. I have precious few years left where I can mandate my children spend the day with me. Lil C is almost 16. In just 2 short years, he may choose to spend the day with LL instead of me. Oh, joy.

2. I have seriously gone out of my way to make sure Doodle made a mother's day craft for LL at our girl scout meeting. Why? I have NO idea.

3. Have you seen the Hallmark commercial for Mother's Day this year?


What mother do you know who doesn't want to be told all of those things?

Except that my darling children have two people in their life to make those comments to. And what if they choose to save all those goodies for LL?

I know it is stupid, petty. I know that the young people I have birthed have the right to make those statements to LL if that is how they feel.

But I feel bitter about having to share that with someone else. That is all.

So, Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there. Know that you are doing a GREAT job, and your children are better off for having YOU in their lives.

1 comment:

Cha Cha said...

Ugh. I hope your mother's day ended up being happy and full of kindness. That whole step parenting thing is an emotional minefield.

I think part of the problem is that you've raised such nice kids. So, they are going to be nice to LL. But know that you will never be replaced in their hearts. Nobody can replace the mama.