August 26, 2010

The Dating Game

When you first meet someone of the opposite sex, you are on your best behavior, or at least you would like to think/hope you are. I hear guys and girls say how they try to make a good impression on the first date, but also how they maintain that level of "good behavior" throughout the first few months.

So, I am the complete opposite, or so I like to believe. I am who I say I am, and I really try not to be any different with men, women, small children or animals when I first meet them! There are a few exceptions to the rule: at the office (being I am paid to be nice) and in certain social situations where it is required to scale myself back.

The reason I even bring this up is I find myself in a very unique position. Background is this: I spent several years being told I was an embarrassment because I was too loud, too opionated, too obnoxious. I have worked REALLY. REALLY. hard in the last 18 months to negate some of that feeling and to work on loving myself for who and what I am. I think I have made great strides....... and then reality sets in.

How much, and how soon, do you share yourself, and all parts of your life with someone you have just met? I want to be that girl who can stand on the roof top and shout to all below that I AM OK WITH WHO I AM, but I also want to be the girl who is not rejected for it either? Is there any middle ground on this? I don't want to feel ashamed about who/what/why I am how I am, and I don't want to change myself to make ANYONE else happy. So, I guess I have answered my own question? I think? 

The scariest part is putting your WHOLE self out there and hoping the other person likes/loves/wants more of you. Here I go. Taking a HUGE leap of faith. Knowing that I am ok and perfectly imperfect.

1 comment:

Crazy Mom of 2! said...

I honestly think that is something we all have to struggle with and decide. But I think you are in a great situation where you are free to put yourself out for all to see who and what you are. Because honestly I think you are an amazing person... so they either like/love/accept who you are or they are not the right one for you. (it is easier said then done I get that, but maybe with some encoragement from the peanut gallory you'll just jump!)