March 29, 2013

Oh, have I got a story for you........

I wasn't trying to publicly announce this, but this is one story I HAVE to share..........

I have re-entered the world of online dating. Yep.

I don't really go to bars, I don't live in a huge city, where there is a QUALITY night life, so online is it for me. I met PB online, and although we didn't have the power of forever, it was a good 2 1/2 years.

So, I made my profile. I uploaded my pictures. I answered all the personality questions. And then, after a huge gulp of air, slowly slid my mouse across the "submit" button. And there you have it. My profile now exists. (Although it was EXTREMELY difficult to find pictures of JUST ME in the last year) I always seem to be pictured with PB, Moxie, or the chitlins.

With an online dating site, you have to know that ANYONE can view your profile. Even though you put in the age range, proximity and qualities you are looking for, if someone wants to look at your pics, and message you, it WILL happen. This I know, and most of the gross/homeless looking/unappealing ones I just delete.

I have had some good messages (more on that later) and some seriously lacking ones. BUT, this one takes the cake fo shizzle.

PsychoBoi (the name he has so aptly earned) messaged me. I thought what he had to say was funny, so I messaged him back. Not someone I was particularly attracted to, but in the interest of great conversation, (mean right?) I kept chatting with him. We went back and forth for almost 3 days when he asked, this past Friday, if I would like to possible continue the conversation via text, instead of through the site.

Being totally upfront, I told him that I had one hell of a busy 48 hours ahead of me, but that I would get back to him when I could. He messaged back and said that I used the "word" that every guy hates to hear........... I messaged back asking what word that was, and no response.

I totally forget about it over the weekend, because like I said, I was busy! Monday rolls around, and mid morning a message from PsychoBoi pops up.

"The worst four letter word that men hear to much, and women use without knowing we hate.
 B.U.S.Y
 Don't worry I'm not freaking out, text is normally the second stage of building a credible line of time and trust. I know a lot about relationships and how to feel if someone is worth the patience, with that said we can just keep things on here until such time that you're more available. You have been so cool and nice, that I would rather not have either person feel like advancing if things might be restricting time so much.

I wasn't sure if I mentioned this before, but I'm mainly interested in a woman who can make time to be around. I know that time and availability is a difficult issue for single moms concerning online dating. That's why I didn't message you until today, I won't bother a woman if she's busy, it's just pointless going about it like that.

We can continue chatting if you want to, I'm not taking this serious."

To which I respond:

"Your response is very interesting to me......
I only mentioned that I was busy because I WAS. I like to be upfront and tell someone if I have plans, or if I don't, that way there is no expectation on their part that is invalid.

I make time in my life for what is important to me, but I don't stop life because I may be dating someone. I incorporate them in to what I do.

parent of 2 active kids,one is soccer, one is baseball. I am a girl scout troop leader, and I volunteer my time for different organizations. I work out, and I have my girl time.

When I was married, I NEVER made time for myself, and the things that I like to do. NOW, I do that and it makes me a happier person."

To which crazy pants replies: 

"Thanks.

Yeah, well the thing is I'm a good guy and I fully understand the concept of making time for yourself. However, reading the last part of your message kind of makes me think you might be to conditioned or use to wanting your own time.

That's cool, don't worry about it, you seem to busy with how you typed the beginning of your message. Seriously, I'm not even worried about it, but now you might understand why guys like me often ask if a woman ever made time for their ex, or if they made the guy feel guilty about it. This is pretty common with people now days, the single fathers seem to have more time then others from what I'm being told.

That's my problem, women with kids have no time or accept the reality of what they need to do to keep the guy around.

Then the single women without kids can't figure out if their wanting to date a guy who has kids, because their worried I will pull the same shit.

It's a fucked deal either way, wow women just don't prioritize men like they use to."

My reply:
"I think we may be on a totally different page with this.......

I know how to make time for the things I care about, including my partner. What I will not do, though is put my life on hold or give up my hobbies because I am in a relationship. I lost myself once that way, and I wont do it again.

I wish you the best of luck in finding what you are looking for."
And another response:

"No.

You're right, it's my fuck up I should have ask you from the start how much time you make.

Don't worry about, like I said this is a serious issue with women now days, they don't know how to make a guy feel important or balance their time.

It's just a harsh reality, my ex even said women hate knowing this about themselves.

You're giving up this fast only proves the point, but I'm not mad, just annoyed because this is the shit women pull.

I'm sorry you might not have wanted to make the time for your ex, another reason why guys need to quit having kids.

Their wife might get to busy later, thanks for having a good conversation, take care of yourself.

I don't need luck, I need a woman who makes the fucking time.

Goodbye."
At this point my panties are in a LARGE bunch in my pants. I am hot around the color, my ears have smoke billowing out of them and I am MAD. Uhm, I don't know who this guy thinks he is, but NOW I am going to respond.
"I wasn't going to respond.... But I feel there needs to be some clarification here. I only said I hope you find what you're looking for because I felt like you made assumptions on who I am, what I do, or what kind of time I have for someone, because I'm not willing to quit the extra curricular activities I have. I didn't make time for my ex husband because he was an ass. Pure and simple.

I had no idea guys even felt like that... It was eye opening for sure. I guess for me: if I have things I do that make me happy, and my partner has things he does to make him happy, in the form of hobbies or what not, it makes for a better relationship. Then, we can find things we enjoy doing together. I honestly feel like having separate hobbies is an ok thing, and that I don't need to spend every waking moment with my partner, which makes me a more balanced person.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. Take care."

And some more crazy psycho mumbo jumbo:

"Wow, it just sounds like you really never knew how to make time for a guy if he was nice.

I have hobbies, work, and things of entertainment, but my god I get off my ass to be around for relationships.

I think you're confusing super clingy with just being there for the guy, this is a good topic.

So, you basically only want a dude around when it fits your time? And I wanted you to know that I'm not being a jerk, it's just that I'm reading the same shit most women say.

I understand you might not get it, yes my dear online friend, ya seriously need to make time for a guy if you expect him to feel any trust coming from you.

Let me ask you this, have I said anything dirty or sexual that makes you believe I'm not being honest?

Yes, I will take care like you said, I promise to make the fucking time for a woman."
Here is where I stop responding. I am DONE, DONE, DONE with this asshole. He is obviously mentally unstable. Who the fuck does he think he is? He has done nothing but ASSUME things about me, and go off the deep end. I wanted to respond, but knew I didn't want to feed his special brand of crazy. But, not even 5 minutes later a NEW message comes in from him.

"TRUCE!

Wow, I haven't let a woman annoy me like that in awhile, my sister is right once a woman starts twisting context or meaning around, the guy is fucked. I was honestly kind of waiting for it, but you're right both of us have completely different values from what I see. I never mentioned this before, but I broadcast YouTube Videos as one of my hobbies. My channel is called *********** I plan to make a special video later this morning just for you. (Day off, swapped with co-worker) so I'm bored and really wanted to get my opinion straight. I don't have any bad or nasty thoughts against you, I just think you don't know much about how some of us faithful and loving guys are like. Women to often assume the bad shit and believe the new guy will be hanging on them to much, they can't stand knowing how "Give and Take" works.

Shit, at least you were married, that's just fucked up knowing you sure have some other asshole your time and attention. I'm thinking about being more like the men you might encounter later, just full of shit and only wanting some chick to sleep with.

The nice and sincere thing is not working, with that said I will officially tell you I am so SORRY for reminding you of the harsh reality behind long-term dating and men who do want more then a fuck buddy.

My video will be titled "The Cowardly Lion."

No, I'm not calling you a coward, I like the Wizard Of Oz, it's only a name for the video.

It will run about 8 mins, I promise not to insult or mock you, but do me a favor and pick some bullshit name that I can use for you. I'm not using your real name because I do have respect for you, even after you assume the shit about me.

Go ahead?"
Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I called all my friends, especially the ones who have a profile on this site. Told them all his screen name, and told them all to stay the fuck away from this crazy. Well, one of my friends decided to be cheeky, and sent him a message that said something like "I'm busy, but I would like to talk to you"......... PsychoBoi went POSTAL on her! Calling her every name in the book. Insulting her friends and family..........

So, we both reported him, blocked him, and let the site administrator know about the verbal abuse.

Here is what I saw yesterday when I logged in:

Sorry, ******* no longer has an account.

Halleh-fucking-lujah. Take that asshole. You mess with me, you mess with ALL my peeps. Good luck finding your prefect wife...... oh wait. She doesn't exist. June Cleaver is dead.

I did check out his youtube channel. There was a video posted title "The Cowardly Lion"........ it was on there for 45 minutes before it was removed. Don't know why. 

Needless to say, I will be less than willing to give my number out, and I will make sure the red flags that I have, are always given the light of day. I missed the mark with this one ladies......

Have any crazy dating stories you want to share? I know I am not the only one out there that seems to attract the nutso ones........

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