Stupid people make me want to hurt myself. Literally.

Are you with me?

We all have those people in our lives that are SO fucking stupid we are left to wonder how they are able to function in society. Without hurting themselves. Or someone taking them out.

So you know I had to share the latest and greatest with you. This post has been weighing on my mind for a week now. So, after much thought, here goes.

PB's best friend in all the world is a DUMBASS. And so he shall be named....... DA. Man that feels so good to let that out!

What's that? Why am I saying this?

Over the past 6 months, DA has separated from his wife, met his current girlfriend, moved in with said girlfriend, and forgotten for the most part that PB existed. DA and PB have been friends for over 10 years. A lot has happened in that time, and they BOTH have been great friends to each other throughout the years.

Until now.

When I met PB, I accepted his friend DA and his wife (soon to be ex) as my friends. We hung out together, did dinner together, went on weekend trips together. We went to their house for birthday parties, they came to our house for Christmas, we celebrated and rejoiced the events and big moments in each others lives.

Fast forward to February 2012. DA's divorce happened.

DA camped out on our couch for 3 weeks. We supported him, counseled him, hugged him when he needed it, made him laugh when he wanted to cry. And then DA meets SGW. Who PB happened to take out on a few dates several years back. Awkward right?

Well, things progress SO smoothly (she says sweetly without a drop of sarcasm) that DA decides to MOVE IN with SGW after knowing each other for 2 weeks. Ok. DA obviously thinks its a good idea, so PB and I keep our mouths shut.

Over the last few months I have heard more about DA and SGW's sex life than I EVER wanted to know. They have brought many an awkward moment to the dinner table, bar stool and BBQ. 

What has been hard for me is seeing PB lose his friend. DA and PB used to hang out a couple times a week. Recently, there have been weeks he hasnt even HEARD from DA. It has taken its toll.

Last week, we went to dinner with DA and SGW. It was the most awkward, bizarre, sad dinner I think I have been to. SGW spends most of the night talking about PB and her, DA remains mostly quiet, and I sit in amazed silence. There is tension between DA and SGW as we leave the restaurant, and it boils over shortly after. DA calls PB and talks to him about it, albeit briefly.

The next day rolls around, and no word from DA. Its another 24 hours before I talk to him. He has called to ask my a favor, for which I am more than happy to help with. He also asks some professional questions that pertain to my line of work, and I help out with that too. DA's son is at our house, hanging with Big C, and I tell them both the conversation I had with DA.

Everything is fine until the next night. Friday. After I got home from work, PB and I are relaxing in the living room, watching tv, I am doing my nails. The next thing you know, there is a nasty text that rolls through from DA.

PB and I are both in shock. Seems that DA misunderstood whatever I said to him the day before, as well as the conversation I had with his son, and now he no longer wants to be PB's friend. WTF?

He is going to throw away his best friend, and all the years and memories they have together because HE misunderstood what I said? Or what his son said? Are we being punked? Then he goes and pulls the "I have deleted you as my friend on Facebook" crap. Whatever.

DA, I think it really boils down to this:  YOU can't handle that YOUR girlfriend talks about PB all the time, for whatever reason, and you want to limit the contact between them. You are going to let this GIRL in between YOU and YOUR BEST FRIEND? But you are going to blame it all on ME?

Dude, I am not hurting in the friend department. I could give 2 shits whether or not you want to be my friend. It's PB I am sad for. HE is the one who was there for YOU, DUMBASS. And your just going to let it all go down the crapper?

DA, If you are reading this, and I most certainly hope you are, let me make sure I have been very clear. Don't come crawling back when it doesn't work out, with your tail tucked between your legs and say how sorry you are, and expect sympathy from ME. PB might give it to you, but you won't get it from me. I don't like being called a liar, having other people put words in my mouth, or having to listen to YOU tell me that YOU know more than I do about my job, and what I do, just because YOU didn't get the answer you wanted.

I gave you nothing but good, sound, solid advice, and I would NEVER put my job on the line for ANYONE, let alone YOU. I have watched you throw aside PB for months now, and I am sick of sticking up for you. You don't want to be my friend? FINE. But stop punishing PB for something you THINK I have done to WRONG you. That is so FUCKING STUPID.

GROW up. MAN up. You are letting the most important things in your life slide away: your friends, your family, your kids. I hope for THEIR sake, you pull your head out of your ass and remember the GOOD guy you USED to be. Because YOU are burning more bridges than you are MAKING.

Divorce sucks. I GET IT. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. BUT, it is supposed to make you better, stronger, happier. I don't even recognize you any more. Seriously. Take a good hard look in the mirror, man. Figure out what's important in YOUR life before you LOSE it all.